Picture this. A 34 year old woman, she's married, has a little girl age 3 and 3/4, works a full time job, and for the most part has her shit together. I mean she's a Mom, wife and career woman, regardless of title, do we really ever have it all together? I digress, her birthday is coming and soon she'll be the big 35. No biggie, it's just another birthday. They seem to come every year regardless of want or need. So she's responsible and schedules her yearly Dr's appointments.
She does it all. Dentist, check. Optometrist - New contacts, new prescription, thicker glasses and she still can't see. Whatever, it’s done, check it off the list. Dermatologist, check. Life as usual right? Next stop OBGYN. No one likes these exams, they're not a good time, like seriously ever. She wishes she could say that the only time she's been to see this particular Dr. is at her yearly exam. But, that's not the case. She's been going about twice a year since her daughter was born. Don't freak, there's nothing physically wrong with her, she's just been trying to get pregnant for 3 years now.
We're talking 3 years of each and every month being emotionally kicked in the pants. Peeing on a stick only to see one line. ONE freakin' line! To say the "odds are ever in her favor" is an understatement. She's got 36 months under her belt. Normal time frame of conception for the average healthy adult is 6-12 months. She's due!
Her personality is very much one of determination and perseverance. When this girl wants something she stops at nothing to achieve it. You could say, she's very goal oriented, organized, in the zone (Okay Britney Spears), no one gets in her way, or whatever you want to call it.
She's done everything right. She's changed her diet, she's changed his diet, she's read every article, downloaded every calendar, did every ovulation test, literally has looked at every option. She's "relaxed and it'll happen when it's supposed to." She's "taken a break." She’s “gone on vacation.” She's listened to all the unsolicited advice and only told one person to shove it...that one time.
She's been such a freak about "how to get pregnant now" that she's on the verge of losing her partner in life. Passion - gone. Fun? Fun flew out the window. Sexy? What? Is that a four letter word? I've heard of that, what is that?
She gets home from work, eats dinner, gets the kiddo to do bath, brush, books, & bed routine. Throws on her super comfortable pajama pants, BIG ol' granny panties and a baggy loose fitting t-shirt like clock work. You could say these items are her favorite clothing line. In fact, she looks for these items in the high end stores because she knows they'll be softer and more high quality. WTF?!? Is this her life? What has happened?
Now she's sitting with her OB GYN discussing life, ovaries, self breast exams, future pregnancies, AND THEN....The Dr says those words. That nasty, nasty, worse than the F-word - word. "Advanced Maternal Age." It went something like this actually, "Well now that you're 35 you're of Advanced Maternal Age and I highly recommend...." OH GAWD JUST STOP NOW. Then words like specialist come up, fertility Doctors, fertility plans, hormones, sperm testing, clomid, and other options.
Referrals are flooded her way in the form of multiple business cards. Possible procedures for having your tubes cleaned out are discussed & basically the “what you need to do next.” Wait...Hold on? Did you say “tubes cleaned out?” What? Her body is not a vacuum cleaner! She's thinking, How is this my life? Now, keep in mind this isn't the first time she's heard the "next steps" speech. She's actually switched Dr's so she could hear the same spiel from a different Dr. You know, keep it fresh. She's presented these options to her husband and has tried to get him on board, but he's of the mindset that it will happen when it happens...... Great. The control freak in her is literally losing her shit.
So with everything that you know now we can stop talking in 3rd person? I'm her. I'm that woman who's about to turn 35 and at the stroke of midnight become “high risk.” So what happens next? I literally leave her office in tears. Those 3 words mean so much more than a protected class, possible complications, high risk and an extra ultrasound. They mean I'm almost out of time. They mean that when I blow out my candles my clock is literally tick, tick ticking away and I can't do anything to stop it. I'm like Marisa Tomei in My Cousin Vinny, stomping my feet on the ground screaming, "My biological clock is ticking like this!" (stomp! stomp! stomp!) Except I'm way too big to wear her outfit and there's no way I could do her accent justice. Love her, love that movie! Classic!
I can't control the situation. I can't schedule a baby. I can't call in the stork for delivery. With everything going on in my life, I know I can control my bank account, I can control my starbucks order, I can control the temperature in the room, but I can not make nature speed up the process without, a little extra help from science. And oh wait, my husband isn't on board with the "extra" help.
So you can guess what happens next. Depression through the roof. Negativity sky high. Anxiety, don't get me started. I'm looking into Dr's who'll prescribe me something, anything, for these symptoms I can't shake. My mental and physical being is not only affecting my home life but it’s now creeping into my work life, my bread and butter, my only source of income. I work in sales, and basically, if I don’t sell, I don’t make a dime. Would you want to buy something from a person who has anxiety & depression? Or appeared to be unconfident and super negative? No, you wouldn’t.
My partner at work, aka best friend, aka family, aka splits all commissions with me, one day told me, “You need to get it together.” Talk about a wake up a call! It’s one thing for me to be down in the dumps at home, but when your income is affecting someone else's livelihood too? Not good. I’m not that person. I don’t want to be that person and I know I’m better than this!
She became my new light at the end of the tunnel. A new focus. Each and every morning she posts 15 second videos on her instagram account of her doing her morning workouts. She was in her groove and getting her, “operation hot Mom” body back. She recently had her 2nd baby and was back to work as a full time employee with 2 kids under the age of two. To say she has her shit together is an understatement. She did and she rocked it!
She told me, “you need to do what I’m doing.” I was like, yeah yeah yeah...not interested. She’d let it go, but then it would come up in conversations here and there. We literally work in the same office, like 2 feet from one another, we talk, A LOT. The next thing I know, each morning I’d find myself grabbing my phone to see if she posted yet. I mean, it’s stupid right? She was sweaty, doing some moves full out, modifying with others, push ups on her knees, hair pulled back, no make up, kids running around in the background, but she was real. She’s no Jillian Michaels, I mean she literally just popped out a 9lb baby 3 months prior! She was just being 100% herself. She came back to work a totally different person. Happy, refreshed, glowing, driven, determined, and so much positivity. It’s like it was oozing out of her. Like, annoyingly oozing! Thank the good Lord that girl wore me down. I’m so glad she did!
I started my new life the same day I pee’d on my last pregnancy test. I’m SO done with those damn things! We talked about which program would work best for me and I ordered it through a link she sent me to her coaching website. I kickstarted my new life with The T25 Kickstart Challenge Pack. It comes included with a cleanse that you can eat on called, The 3 Day Refresh, a workout program called T25, which is a DVD set, a resistance band, the nutrition guide & the calendar for when to do each 25 minute daily workout, as well as, 30 days of beachbody on demand and a bag of Vegan Chocolate Shakeology.
The next thing I know I can’t wait to set my alarm for 5:45am! I’m setting out my workout clothes the night before and look forward to checking off my workout in the Challenge Group tracker app. My coworker, a coach, added me to her challenge group and I jumped in full force. I got a high off of sharing my workout with these women who’m I’d never met. It’s like I didn’t want to let them down by not posting that day. I know they could care less but I wanted to be present everyday. My new light was growing and then the pounds started coming off.
I lost 4lbs in the first 3 days of the cleanse and am now down a total of 12lbs! I went from a size 12 to a size 8! And you better believe I’m smiling as I type this post! Depression gone, negativity a thing of the past, and anxiety comes and goes. But I’ll take ⅔ any day! My new physical routine is literally my emotional therapy. I don’t know too many men and women who’ve lost weight talking to a therapist, do you?
I’m still not pregnant, but I know my new lifestyle will help the process. One of the ingredients in Shakeology is Maca Root. This is something that helps with libido & ovarian health. I was taking this in raw form at one point, gross!! ...Yes, I’ve tried everything…even Queen Bee’s jelly. Google it. It’s like $26 for a capsule of weird Queen Bee butt juice that you ingest. EWE!!!! Literally…..Tried…...Everything.
I do hope and pray that it will happen someday. A little baby brother or sister for my daughter would be the icing on the cake. I know this is in my future! My astrologer told me so! Except she said it would happen 3 months ago, so maybe we should just take her word with a grain of salt. But she sounded so dang confident and matter of fact, so I hope she’s right! Maybe she’s just off by a few months or 8...
I’m now down 12lbs from August. My BMI is 2 points lower and my Dr. said that although I wasn’t in the obese category to begin with. I was only .4 points away from being considered obese. To be 2 points lower is huge and means that my body is that much healthier. She was super positive and said, “this can only help.”
So with all that being said, you don’t have to have a “Why” story like mine where you’re struggling to have a baby. I’m sure your “Why?” has it’s own story behind it. The great thing about the simple question of, “Why?” Is that your answer to such a simple question can be your driving force & reason to make a change for the better.
This change for me has turned my life around. It’s given me a new focus, a new outlook, and a healthier mental and emotional state in return. I’ve definitely got my SEXY back! My confidence has sky rocketed and boy do I love trying on clothes again! I’m so grateful my coworker pushed this on me. I’m forever in her debt. Now, I want to pay it forward and help others. That’s WHY I became a coach.
What’s your Why?
Email me, I’d love to hear from you & have you join me on this AMAZING new journey! firstname.lastname@example.org Or if you're not ready yet, that's okay, follow me on Instagram @mrskristirae I'll be here when you're ready. This is lifestyle change for me. I'm in it for the long haul. It's not a fad diet or a get rich quick scheme (this company is not like that). If you want results you have to put in the effort, plain and simple. It's a true solution and it's making my life and others better. Thank you for being my therapy & listening. You're all amazing and wonderful people! I'm sending you hugs through the internet!