When the shit hits the fan it really hits the fan!
But seriously, as I was thinking about this blog post and what I wanted to say, I shit you not (pun intended) my 4 year old, potty trained daughter, walked into my room with her iPad in hand and said, “Mommy I poo pood in my pants.” Me, “uh? How’d that happen?” Daughter, “I was watching my iPad and then it just came out?” Me, “So basically you couldn’t put your iPad down for 2 minutes to go poo poo in the toilet?” Daughter, “You have to pause it first!” Me: OMG!!! #momfail #nomoreipad #wtf
And it was everywhere. We had to take an emergency bath to get it all handled. We even talked about getting rid of the iPad but heaven forbid she not have her iPad on Sunday’s when Daddy’s watching football on the big tv. But whatever, as Mother’s you all feel me, you know what I’m talking about. But that’s not the worst part of my week. It’s just the icing on the cake, and a real shitty one at that! (pun intended...again….okay last one I promise).
So this week was supposed to be super awesome because it involved me leaving for a fun filled bachelorette party weekend in Vegas! That’s right, KRae’s little sister is getting married! Oh how I couldn’t wait to get there already! I LOVE Vegas! I love the food, the energy, the shows, the tables, roulette, craps, the slots, the people watching, the sights and sounds! I just get a high off of being there! I was counting down the minutes till I could board the plane.
So before my departure date, my pool decided to break. Not because it truly is broken but because my amazing pool man (aka my husband) never cleaned the leaves out of the basket in the filter and the thing got clogged up. Okay, lesson learned, paid the guy to fix it, no problem right?
Then my #1 fan, Crockett, named from Crockett & Tubs on Miami Vice. He’s the big ol’ German Shepherd by the couch in my Instagram Videos, you can see him @mrskristirae. My sweet, loyal, wants to be near you at all times, German Shepherd had appeared to be losing weight since Christmas time. As in went from 106lbs to 86lbs rather quickly. So I take him to the vet on Monday, only to hear that she has no idea what’s wrong with him and calls for $454 worth of blood & stool tests. Awesome…No biggie, it’s only money right? Lets just get him healthy. Meanwhile I move on with my life and then get a voicemail from the Vet saying to call them immediately. Um, yah, they left that VM around noon which means I didn’t check it until 6pm that night. Who leaves VM’s??
They didn’t have any answers for me except that his white blood count was at 220,000 and it should’ve been at 80,000. They recommended some emergency place to take him and said he needed a CT scan. Me: “How much is that going to cost?” Them: $900. Me: “Um Okay…” Meanwhile Crockett is now staring at the cabinets. Like, he’s totally not himself and acting funny. I call the place and they say they’re all done with CT’s for the day. So no biggie, we’ll take him in the morning right? NOPE, my Vet had a little freak out of her own and said “Get him down there now, he needs to be on fluids, IV, possibly an antibiotic. We really don’t think he’ll make it through the night if you wait!” Me: Are you kidding me? Cue up frantic emotional spazztic crying. Husband comes home, takes him away and I hug him like I’m never seeing him again.
We get the call early the next morning, I remember because I was in the middle of picking which 15 second video clips to put on insta to show the world that I worked out that morning. #mylife.... Anyway, Dr’s recommending emergency surgery with a lot of “We’ll know more when we get in there’s.” They’re throwing around big scary words like Cancer and a whole bunch of other stuff. All I’m thinking is, my poor baby & how much is this going to costs?
Well. I’ll tell you. $6,000 Six freakin’ thousand dollars to find out his spleen had detached, reattached, and then reattached itself recently. This spleen, had also been the BIGGEST spleen the Dr. had ever seen! Crockett had 1.5 liters of blood in his stomach, a result of the detached spleen leaking into it. Had they not reacted when they did he wouldn’t have lasted the night. It might have been a LOT of money but to have him back home makes all the difference in the world.
So now we’ve paid for the pool to be fixed, Crockett’s blood test, Crockett’s surgery and as I’m driving home from seeing him, keep in mind, the night before I’m supposed to leave for “Adult” Disneyland! I close the garage behind me and then all of a sudden….wait for it….this shrieking sound and a loud thunk! I turn around as if the door had insulted my jeans, and then yelled for my Husband.
Low and behold, the garage door cable snapped and we are now trapped in our home. Well, that’s being a little dramatic, our cars are now trapped. We can walk right out the front door. Unfortunately terminal 4 at Sky Harbor isn’t exactly within walking distance. So at 11pm at night I call the garage door man repair service. Who promptly does NOT show up when he’s supposed to the next day, and then turns around and charges us $760 to fix the damn door. OMG, I’m pretty sure for a few bucks more I could’ve had an entirely new door. Awesome.
But you know what? That’s not getting me down. Because it’s fixable right? Crockett’s spleen, the cable on the door, the pool filter system, my kids inability to put down “My Little Pony” and not shit herself, all fixable. It really is just a domino effect of crappy circumstances. No one had died, no one has been hurt, everyone is fine. It was just a shitty couple of days. I will take these kinds of days all day long if it means my loved ones are healthy. At the end of the day, that’s truly all that matters.
I’m grateful we have a garage door that keeps our cars warm at night. I’m grateful for my audience of ONE every morning because my other dog couldn’t possibly be bothered to wake up before the sun is up. I’m grateful for my own personal cabana man that takes care of our beautiful pool, even if he does forget to clean the baskets out. I'm grateful I got to see Ms. Britney Spears in Vegas for a second time! #Loveher
This life has been so good to me & I’ll take a shitty, expensive week any day if it means we’re all alive & healthy at the end of it. Family is everything! The rest is all material. What are you grateful for?
UPDATE: We are sad to say that after a total of $9,400 in vet bills, they have just informed us that Crockett has stage 4 cancer. He’s recovered from his surgery, is eating well, climbing up and down the stairs, and back to his old self again. So we’ll keep him comfortable and when it’s time, we’ll make sure he’s not in pain. Please think good positive thoughts for our poor baby boy.